why is it everytime i post on here, not an hour goes by that my W contacts me.
W called and asked why i can't wait until the 7th to just give her her stuff. i said i've waited 3 weeks for her to get her stuff and that is enough. i said i feel like it would be best if i just sent it to her grandma's as she then would know where it's at and can get it when she needs it. she said if i want her out of my life that badly she'll come in the morning and get it. i said if you're not here by noon i'm mailing it off.
she started to say how little she must mean to me that i'm just going ahead and doing this, and she never really mattered to me and that i never cared. I stopped her in her tracks and said i always cared and there wasn't ever a time that i didn't. I said i'm not the one who left and gave up.
she tried starting an arguement with me about the past R, and i told her i'm not arguing about anything with her. she said she wasn't trying to argue and i said it sure feels like it.
she also said that i need to get my stuff from her, and i said i have everything i need here and what i don't have is all replaceable. she took serious offense to that comment, and said your grandmothers baby blanket she made you is replaceable? and i answered i'll have someone else make me a baby's blanket if i feel i ever need one again. then she implied that she was always replaceable in the R and i said again i'm not getting into this with her.
she then told me she'll be here in the morning and i replied "alright bye." i could tell by her pause she was shocked that i ended the conversation like i did, and i could here her say goodbye as i slid my phone closed on her.
she said some other things i can't specifically remember right now as it was 7 minutes of me telling her i'm not going to argue with her, and that i'm moving on with my life and just letting all of this go. she didn't want to seem to except it and kept wanting to bring old stuff up that wasn't true. she even stopped herself once and said "i take that back i know you loved me" at one point in the conversation. i wasn't going to try and reason with her, but i stood firm on what i said and what i was going to do with her.
i so did NOT let her draw me into an arguement with her. she was angry with me, and i said something about it, and i think that's when she made a commet about me just not caring. i only said "i always cared and was never the one who left this R." she brought up how i made mistakes in the past and i said I take full responsibility for my actions, although i realize now how wrong i was at the time i made them. No apologies, just an admission of me knowing i was wrong then.
it felt so good to be in control of my feelings and emotions with her. I refused to rehash old garbage. she even brought up how she wasted her life with me and i said firmly i never wasted anything and i don't regret ever feeling the way i did for the woman i loved. she paused on that one...
