Are you implying that you would rather be M to him and be unhappy in that MR than be D?
No not at all Sandi. I was just asking, because, like I told Braveheart, so many people on this board believe that their WAS are in MLC. As I said my xh asked me once "couldnt someone just be unhappy" and I didnt know what to say. I was just asking the same question. It doesnt always have to be MLC does it? I mean I believe if a marriage isnt having any MAJOR problems, and one spouse left, yes it could be MLC, especially if the signs follow. BUT if there are ongoing problems then NO its probably not MLC or WAS or anything like that. Just my opinion. Do you agree with me or am I wrong. Sandi, I am not discussing the above to figure out if xh is in MLC. I was just thinking about all the stories on here and how so many WANT it to be MLC, because they think the spouse will snap out of it...I did. I dont know if my xh is or not, but it doesnt matter anymore. He is gone for now or always, who knows? Nobody except the GOOD LORD ABOVE.
For example, the way your XH disciplined your son. I agree with you that he did not do it correctly,but it is done and it can't be undone. So, why go through this over and over again? I'm talking about for "your" sake....not ours.
The main reason for talking about this is to get your opinion and to except my own fault in this. I did not stand behind my xh when he displined him and I should of, BUT I was trying to explain why I didnt. I simply didnt agree with the way he went about it. SO IN TURN, my son thinks he can run over me, because I took up for him in the past. I also didnt know I discussed this before. I told you that I could not remember what I have talked about and what I haven't. I really need to re-read my threads.
I don't know that I would sit there and listen to his story about your XH and GF. That is showing a lot of disrespect for your feelings. Anybody that was his age should know you are extremely hurt over what his dad did and to talk to "you" about his dad's fishing with GF is so uncalled for.
Sandi, I agree with you but I dont want son to think he cant talk about his dad with me. If that includes gf, then I will just have to deal with it. He was excited about his dad winning the tournment, and he was regretting that he didnt go instead of gf. Yes he SHOULD know it hurts me, but honestly I dont think he does. I have tried to explain to him how hurt I am about what his dad did and he will not hear it. So I dont force him to talk about it. Sandi, my son is somewhat inmature for his age. For example, when his dad told him he was engaged and getting married to gf, my son told me and said to me. Mom you should be proud of dad, it has to be hard for him to get remarried so soon. I could not believe that he said that. Ever since then, I just let him talk. One day he will see. He will say things about dad and gf and then say, mom dont let it bother you and dont tell dad I told you. Which I dont tell xh. BUT it does bother me. Not as much anymore.
You will have a spiritual battle to deal with since you are involved in Church and have been blessed recently.
Yes I do. I should have expected it. Someone at Church told me to NOT give up on praying for my family. They also said some other things. My faith was renewed and then the first things I heard was the story from my son about xh. THEN went to work and delt with other stuff. I didnt mention it but also heard another story about my xh cheating. So I should have known the devil would stike again. I am holding my head up high and moving forward regardless.
The "One" who is in you is greater than he that is in the world!
