i texted W and told her i'm mailing the last of her stuff here at my house to her grandma's house. i asked for the address and said if she didn't give it to me i can call her mom or grandma and ask for it. she replied back asking if i can't wait until july 7th as she'll be back in town for an appointment.
i said no, i will just call and ask them then tomorrow. no response, which is fine. i'm not waiting around for anyone anymore. my time and space is more valuable to me then that. i'm taking back full 100% control of my life.
i truly am fed up and done with this entire sitch. i firmly believe she is not coming back anymore and i am completely moving on. i am letting go, not just of the rope, but of all feelings i have for her. there is no disdain or hate for her, but the W i knew is gone and buried. she died June 6th. that woman is never coming back. it's ironic because my grandfather died in april and he was the first person in my immediate family to die in 31 years. i never knew loss like that before. and just like i know he isn't coming back, i know my W isn't either.
i just came home from a 30 min walk and came to fully understand this and came to grips with it. i know i'll miss her everyday, but the hope of her returning is gone and so are any more of my efforts or thoughts about it happening. I miss her and love that woman, but she is no more.
my prayers are with all of you. May God never stop helping you everyday in your current sitch. He helped me through so much in such a short period of time. I owe Him my life and sanity. May He never stop helping me in mine either.
Thank you puppy, sandi, stuck, kimmie, and everyone else who took time out of their day to take a glimpse into mine. You are all special people and saying thanks really isn't enough. you are all angels and please don't stop helping others. you do so much good and sometimes it might not feel like there's any immediate benefit to you, but know that your words are like pillars propping up people whose lives are falling apart at the seams. I could never repay for what you have all done. Thank you.
