Hmmm, turns out I was right not to jump too soon. H went out last night. Just said "I`m going out" I ask where to and he-eventually-tells me he`s going off to meet his cousins who`s wedding he attended yesterday.
He said a lot of stuff yesterday-yeah some of it may not be true but we explored his lack of emotional connection with me and that was enlightening though scary.
He says he doesn`t feel an emotional connection with me. But when I went through his family, and our children(he doesn`t appear to have friends) he says he doesn`t have an emotional connection with them either. I couldn`t believe it when he says he doesn`t have that surge of pride when he`s with his kids. No not that I always do either! But he says he NEVER does. He just feels like yeah, they`re childen. But then he added "maybe I`m too wrapped up in myself"
He did talk about how abusive his father was towards his mother right through H`s teen age years and earlier. No he didn`t connect up any dots there with his own behaviour. In fact I don`t know why he brought that up. He does look for sympathy a lot.I just listened and sympathized. And yes, what his mother put up with was horrific.
I was pretty done in after yesterday. We spoke more than we had ever spoken to each other in our lives. H isn`t a talker but he made up for that. I felt close to him after though he evidently didn`t feel the same.
Can you give a person a heart? Or maybe I`m over emotional?
I don`t know.
All I know is I`ll limp along for another little while, stick to my GAL goals, mind me and the kids.
