Hello - things have happened since I last wrote. My big birthday came and went without any acknowledgement by xbf, which crushed me. His mother called, his son called, his friend and wife asked me over for dinner. But nothing from him.
Nonetheless, later that same week, I called and left a message that I was coming over to see his dog. His dog/in my heart is my dog and it is old and sick and not well and I missed him. I was internally upset with xbf and didn't give him the time of day really, I focused totally on the dog. XBF tried to make small talk, he came over and sat down near me and the dog and I didn't budge. It was so silly really, but I wanted to be clear I was there to visit the dog.
Two weeks passed. I called the other day and said I was coming out to see the dog again. He started complaining about a service company problem he was having. I said...you know I always stand behind you whatever you choose, maybe I can help through a contact I have. I then said did you hear what I said? For the first time in two months, I heard his voice soften. He said yes, that you stand behind me, etc. Later that night, he also returned a call to me with some info I needed about his son. I didn't pick up the phone. He left the info and said "hope you're doing good." The first time he has said anything like that in two months. Today, I went to visit the dog. He wanted to show me a home improvement he had done and we talked a bit about it. I let him lead the conversation. His mom was there and she and I visited for a bit, and he disappeared to eat lunch and lay down for a half hour. Which was b.s. He could have visited with us. I decided I'd visited the dog, his Mom and now it was time to leave. Before I left, I wanted to ask him a question about a car problem I'm having. He came out to look at them and said what do you want me to do? And then I said...help me. I feel like a damsel in distress, I don't know what to do. He said "I'd do anything for you." And he set about to fix the problem which took a good hour. In process, he said a couple of sweet things...that he loved me because of something I said was so cute. And he asked me to rub lotion on his face because he had been sunburned, which I couldn't believe he wanted me to do that, and I did. When all was done and I went to leave, I thanked him for helping me and he hugged me and kissed my cheek and said "until next time". I have no idea what any of that means. Maybe he's just being friendly. Who knows. I do know he still has regular contact with OW. My heart is still hopeful that we can get back to a better place but I continue to feel personal growth in myself. : )
