My sons are adults now, and they still will not do anything they think will put their dad out. It is so sad...because they're following the same path that xh did growing up with his dad.
They will use/abuse us because they figure 'mom' is 'safe'...she'll love and nuture us regardless.
There are things going on in my sons life right now that I won't get into, and one of them has actually had to ask his dad for a favor...didn't have any choice. But I heard s say the other night that he 'tries not to get in his dad's way any more than necessary' What does that tell you about how they think????
It's nothing to expect mom to be there rain or shine, and put up with immature and irresponsible behavior at times, but NEVER, NEVER let the WA Parent be put out or know that they're in trouble or need help!!!
I'm at the point now that I know I'm going to have to make a very hard decision in dealing with one of the boys..and I honestly don't know what's going to happen between him and I. I don't want to permanently damage our relationship, but I know I have to set boundaries and then enforce them..
It has to do with my own survival...financially and emotionally. I'm not doing him any favors by protecting him and his actions..just the opposite. But it's going to be h@ll doing it..that I know. It's not something that runs in my nature. But I also know that I let people walk over me too easily, and that part of me has changed over the last few years.
As far as your son and the car...he was given the use of the car to go out and get something to eat. Not to drive over to his dads house. It was also in the agreement that he come pick you up after work. No ifs ands or buts about it. Since he can't keep his end of the bargain, and wants to change it midstream to suit his wants/his dads...no more use of the car until he realizes it is a privelege not a right to use YOUR car. You gave in this time. Do NOT do that again!!!! Believe me..you set yourself up in this pattern with him, and you'll be so, so sorry down the road.
Make him tow the line now.......not later. Nip this type of behavior in the butt now!!
Women are angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible
