I agree that differing opinions can really add so much to the mix if the opinions are offered in a civil fashion. I know I am guilty of being passionate and that can be taken in a way that is not favorable.
I think the one key point is some of us have been in our situations for close to two years. So, in the case of somebody who just got separated a few weeks ago obviously the person in a long term separation might have some experience and wisdom to share as the initial sting is not quite so great.
I also think men and women (not to sound sexist) also process and go about things in a much different manner as far as emotions and actions go when there is pain, betrayal and confusion involved.
While most of the situations here involve an OW/OM the few that dont really dont have the same experience to offer as a 3rd party (OM/OW) really involves a very complicated angle to the mix.
I also feel strongly about people turning to meds for "help" without doing the work and using meds for an escape. And I do speak from experience. Because taking a few Xananx until you pass out doesnt heal or help you grow, it helps you escape in a way that will eventually hault just about everything.
So I do apologize from the bottom of my heart if I appear mean, bossy or some sort of authority on anything (I know nothing, lol!) but I do know what its like to be lower than low. And I also know all the hugs and coddling wont change that. You need action and when we are that low its hard to take action unless you have a good hard kick in the pants.
I would never give legal advice because I am not an attny. I would not give financial adivce because I am not a CPA. But I have been left and cheated on and in that area, sadly, I do have an awful lot of experience. Its not about ego IMO. Its more like saying... hey, give me your hand so I can help you because you need it and I know that because I needed it.
