Sunday morning I went to the gym and later went to the beach by myself. My W took the kids to church this morning, I went to 5:30 mass yesterday. For this afternoon, I played in a golf tournament with my friends. I guess you can say that I was out GALing. It didn't seem like it to me...and here's why:
The kids and I are going on our vacation Tuesday morning for one week to visit my family (out-of-state). My W is going on her own vacation...I learned yesterday morning that she's going on a carribean cruise by herself while we're out-of-state. Her ticket arrived by mail Saturday morning.
Of course my imagination is going crazy about this. It's absolutely killing me! We talked a little bit about our vacations, and she did say she's going alone. Who goes alone on cruises? It's days like these where I want to put down an ultimatum. Either we're working on this marriage or it's divorce time...so I can get out of this limbo pain and move on with life. This hurts soooo bad.
The mojo that I had going for most of the week is completely gone. The W is helping me quite a bit in getting the kids ready for our trip, which make things worse for me b/c why is she so interested in helping out? Again, my imagination is going nuts. I did have a post I believe from Steady that mentioned that in times like these, just tell myself that my brain is telling me stupid little stories and to forget about them...they don't amount to much. I'll try. I just want to keep my family together. It seems I'm getting no where with my 180s and GALing. Maybe I'm wrong and I just don't know yet that they're working.
If anyone has any nuggets of wisdom, I really could use them this evening. My PMA is shot.
Thanks...LFH
ME: 38 W: 35 D2.5 and S5 Married 12 years Separated (same house, different rooms) INILWYAM by W: 4/16/2009 The day W requested a D: 4/17/2009
