Where am I? How long will it last?

[dmkdmkdmk]

Thanks Antlers. I'm trying, but today I'm wondering what he's doing? I'm constantly checking my phone and email, looking for signs of him. I know this is the worst thing to do, but last night around midnight I gave into my suspicions and drove past his house. He wasn't there and now I am sick worrying about where he was and who he was with. Plus, I'm mad at myself for doing that and hate what it says about me. So right now, I'm trying to get motivated to make coffee and read, then maybe work out. Yet, half my brain is constantly preoccupied.

Thanks everyone for your replies. When my H does contact me, it's good to know that you guys do.

I'm always tempted to do that too! I was at a movie today and I kept wondering, mostly because H had DD, what kind of fun they were having.

I've been tempted to drive past his apartment and see if he's really there. I've been tempted to log on to the bank account and see where he's spending money. I've been tempted to see if he's changed the password to his online phone access.

I haven't "spied" on him in four weeks as of tomorrow. But the damage is done from the two months of constant surveillance before that.

I'm less anxious when I keep myself busy, and when I don't think about what he's doing. Because I can't do a thing about it anyway. I can only control what I'm doing. Unfortunately, I have a house that I have to prepare for a new baby all by myself, so I have plenty to do