GH31 - Dilemma with my pregnant wife

[GH31]

OK Guys,

W and I are talking again after 1 week of standing off and avoiding each other.

Last night I went into the spare room where she is sleeping and we talked for a while. I was very angry and told her how disgusted I am with her actions and that I didn't think she was wife material. She was rehashing my past wrongdoings again and said that she "doesn't really want to let her adultery partner go" and apparently this other girlfriend of his is "on hold". She said "GH31, what if we are back together and I'm completely in love with you again and you disappoint me like before?". It's a legitimate concern but she has to justify having an affair somehow and I told her so.

She asked me about our "marriage" and the baby and I explained that as far as I am concerned, terminating a healthy baby is a crime. W was saying that it's "probably for the best" not to have it if we're not going to be together and that the child would be "sad all the time" without both of its parents. I said that I would keep it myself and give it the best upbringing possible. I would do this and with the help of my own parents.

I am not intimidated by life simply because it is tough sometimes.

This unborn baby is now 14 weeks old. To me, sacrificing a healthy baby so that its married parents can each pursue their own selfish ends is immoral. It is not a waste product nor an inconvenient obstacle that needs to be neutralised.

This morning I intercepted emails between her and OM and the affair is back on, again. She is talking about getting this baby terminated if it would make him happy and then saying to OM (who apparently has erectile dysfunction and other men's issues) that he needs to go to the doctor ASAP to get a test done to determine whether he can father children. If he can't, then W thinks it's best to have the baby. OM purportedly will respect whatever W chooses but says he "can't raise GH31's child", and has asked her to talk to people and doctors before doing it etc. She wrote that she's not emotionally attached to the child but is relieved that she can get pregnant. Well, 3 weeks ago we were walking around the shops and bought a few things for the baby - and it was her idea.

Whilst us being a family is my preferred option, I do not want W as my wife in her current condition. I told her I would rather divorce than have her around if she thought there was nothing wrong with having an affair. And I meant it, and still mean it a day later. I have consistently been having these thoughts for a few weeks now. I know that there are far better and tougher women out there for me than my own wife, ones with a backbone where my W's wishbone is.

I could write so much more but it would be very distressing; will keep you posted.