Also want to second what Orchid said about not letting others pressure us in what we should or shouldn't do, feel, or accept. Of course everyone around us wants things sorted out in a way that makes "sense" and is less uncomfortable.
I never, ever would have expected to feel the way I do about my H., my M. and our string of events if someone had forecasted this current sitch to me. I had no idea what love for someone else makes you feel you can withstand. I'm not talking about being a doormat or accepting disrespectful behavior, but I have also learned that ultimatums, slammed doors (literal and figuratively speaking a like) left me feeling empty, not empowered, and did not get me what I have learned I really want from life. And the self discovery is, at least, very valuable by product of the all pain.
Its good that in this way we can support and validate eachother. And in reminding eachother that we are not crazy for valuing our M's enough to go through the process, cultivating the best in ourselves and wanting to extend that to all relationships in our lives.
right there with you-
Me 30 H 33 together:10 years married:5 years Separated: 1/23/09 living apart 5 mos and counting "when you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on"-FDR
