Yes, H and I are both doing 180's which helps us a lot.
I was talking about something else thought - more like - deja vu reactions. Our M was filled with many pretty turbulent, chaotic episodes and I relive them every once in awhile.
Last weekend in particular, I went out for the day with some friends instead of spending the day with H. In the past, H would say it was ok and then either cause a scene the night before or I would get called all day, and then I would come home to a lot of drunkeness, arguing etc. Instead, H was fine the whole time. I checked my phone through the day though because I kept expecting him to call or leave a nasty message -but no messages. When I got home he had picked up dinner for us. Again, the usual was he would monopolize the convo, but this time he purposely encouraged me to talk about my day first.
My reaction was to assume that he was mad - not being nice. In the past H would be quiet only when angry. H did keep asking me if I was ok until I explained that I was worried about him. We talked about the past reactivity and he reassured me that things had changed. And it really did.
There were two more incidents that week and we talked through them all. I am being able to relax more on these occasions now. This is a very tough thing to go through. But I do understand that H had a serious problem, he couldn't control it and he is working through many things with himself and me.
