Lamby - you said: (We can leave for a later date the possibility that I prefer a sexual relationship with someone who doesn't treat me well but ... oooooph I'm not ready for that can of worms yet if that can does in fact contain those worms).
I just want to point out that, it is very VERY typical for women to want a man to "bring her out" of her shell, and also very typical for a woman to WANT to be roughed up a little bit. Pull my hair. Shove me up against a wall and grope my breasts. Talk dirty to me when I'm getting close to getting off....
So look - try not to think of it in terms of a man who "doesn't treat you well". It may be that you did date men who didn't treat you well and had good sex with them, but trust me that its not the mistreatment that is a turn on.
Its "the pirate factor".
GOOD men can be pirates, too. They are not all jerks.
Anyway put to bed the notion that there may be anything to delve into in that area, the "mistreatment" isn't what women are truly after. They are after being manhandled by a man who knows how to manhandle. Big difference, and very common. I can't think of any straight (or bi) woman who doesn't want to be manhandled, and I actually know a lot of gay women who want it but can't "go there" because they are gay...but still fantasize about it!
It is common and universal. So feel normal and happy, ok?
