confused.....want to do something.....

[hopeful_cb]

I am going to have to get out of my comfort zone. Its like every single day is something new I have to conquer or feel as if I am failing.

But just think how after only a couple weeks you’ll have gotten thru so many things and that will give you more confidence to keep going and conquer more.

I still wake up and feel really anxious sometimes, but like I say to ppl in my work, anxiety is a normal feeling, and a reaction to a situation (granted sometimes it goes overboard and takes over, that’s when its not helpful) but that its how we learn to manage the anxiety and learn what works for us in dealing with it that helps too. Look to make a change in your behavior(what your doing) or thoughts (what your thinking) to change how you feel (anxious). Im not saying it will go away but those things help me deal with it better.

Focus on your new job, good luck getting started. Just think how much you have overcome in the last while and how much you are capable of .

I can really hear you on that feeling of being confused with life, not knowing for sure what you want to get out of it or how to get that. I am there too. I watched a dvd Friday night and in it the one woman found out her H was having an affair and went thru basically what lots of ppl are doing on these boards, she made up a wall that said ‘What do I want?’ and started sticking up pictures, clippings, articles that she came across on the wall to help her define what she wanted to get out of life. I thought that was a good idea. To remind yourself of things you come across that inspire you.

One of the goals I made myself a while ago was to stop acting/living out of fear, I am still working on that, but I think the big changes take time. and I think you are doing really well.

Good to hear your PMA coming back in the later posts (Im catching up here!)

This thing about the responsibility is something I keep reading a lot. One of my h’s biggest things was about the responsibility he said he felt for me and our future and all the ‘pressure’ that was on us and how he didn’t want the responsibility of another person anymore. It does sound selfish and it does sound like running away from your problems, and that is a lot of what my h is still doing. He still trys to ‘look out’ for me and make sure im ok etc, for someone that doesn’t want the responsibility he sure keeps coming back and trying to help out with it!

Its good that the dinner went well too.