Hi Nik, I can always count on you to reply to my posts - THANKS

That's just it Nik, gifts are not his LL. When we talked about 5LL together we both agreed that gifts was near the bottom of the list for both of us. I guess everyone likes to get a little of each of the LLs especially when appropriate. But it wasn't the gifts that bothered him it was just the whole tone of the day, the fact that he didn't think we made much of him. That he ended up with chores to do etc.

I think what I find difficult is to keep thinking about how he feels and what he needs - Should I have to? What I mean is that I did make an effort, I got the gifts the kids and I made cards, they were all piled up ready for him together with the gifts and cards from his family when he arrived back from the sky-dive trip. I gave him a hug and said happy birthday. And I did that a couple more times in the day. I cooked a really nice dinner. I just didn't make him King-for-a-day. But I don't really see how I could have under the circumstances?

Maybe I should have talked to him earlier in the week about the fact that our friends would be arriving for the funeral and what he wanted to do by way of celebrating his birthday another day.

Fran

if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs
Erica Jong