Whatever turn of events prompted this, well, I suppose I am glad to see you moving to a new place mentally.
While anger can keep us emotionally bound to another person (unhealthy for both the short and long term) it does have its place to help push you along to the next phase.
If you want to talk about whatever happened then please do. We arent here to judge and we can just listen. If not,that is cool as too.
Speaking with a L is an EXCELLENT idea, making the exchanges with the children as business like as possible is crucial for you right now and keeping the focus on you, your job, your children, your AA attendance and C'ing should also top your agenda.
For me, journaling is theraputic. I dont always do it here but I do journal with a pen and paper each day. If you dont want to share what has developed that is fine but I do kindly suggest you purge it from yourself somehow (journaling, AA, C'ing).
Realizations about our WAS often can hit us like a ten ton truck of bricks. In a way, although it hurts to the core, I am sort of glad you finally got hit. Sometimes it is the only way to become jolted back to reality and realize the hope and expectations were merely figments of your imagination.
I hate when people tell me "you'll be fine". Well, yes, of course I will be fine one day. I just cant say what day that will be. But each day you will get "more fine" but it will have to happen on your schedule.
The mourning process one *must* experience when a marriage is over is so very universal yet so very personal. Use your support system and all resources available to you. There is no proper timeline, there is no guarantee when things will finally feel okay but there is the ideal you *can* implement in your own mind and soul that one day things will all fall in place in a way you never anticipated they could. I believe that and I hope you do too.
I am hard on you and I know that. I also know that I have been at the very bottom to the point of become both phsyically and emotionally ill. Its not an experience I ever care to repeat. So my tough stance with you is not to attack you, its to perhaps help you draw on my experience and how I got to where I am. I am not *quite* there yet but progress has been made. And sometimes when we are in the absolute depths of hell progress is all we can aim for. So aim away and remember what my friend told me "when you are in hell the only way to get out is to keep on walking". You can do it. If I can, you can. I was the original poster child of the ultimate "hot mess". Now I am only a slight "hot mess". That counts, right?
