Start of the end..

[iwantittowork]

So today I was actually feeling pretty good, until I was starting to pay the bills this morning, and notice my D in bed sniffling. I went over to ask if something was bothering her, and she said she was sad that Mom wouldn't be with us today at my nieces b-day party, then she started to cry..

Oh god, I feel so awful now, I made sure to say it's ok to be sad, and to cry and to talk about it, and that her mom loves her very much and that I love her very much, and it is not her fault for any of this! I cried a little, but tried to hold it back for a bit, but after she went and sat with my W I had to go sit in the bathroom for a bit, this is so awful...

My W cried as well with her for a bit, but now I am angry at her. I have tried everything to keep this thing together, and nothing is good enough for her. I have not asked her for a thing for months, and let her do whatever she wants. I can't even understand this selfishness from her to just look out for what she wants now, but I also can't keep in that frame of mind, or I will just grow more bitter and resentful..

I am not even putting my thoughts on this down coherently, just need to vent for a bit. Damnit, I am so mad..