Just another thing to add to the mix. At the end of August after I got back from visiting my parents (they live in France) I popped in to see my sister. She asked me how things were going (re H and I) and I told her "not so good" and about how he had come home early from France. She then related it to her own sitch, where her ex-H would be up and down with her. She said every time things got bad again it was because OW was back in the picture.

This hadn't really occurred to me as part of the problem, but still I wasn't really concerned, because I do trust him and I am pretty sure he has given up OW for good. She has done too many mean vindictive things since he dumped her for him ever to go back there.

Anyway about a week after this conversation H asked me why I had asked my sister to try and find out if he was still seeing OW It turns out that she had asked her ex (who is business partner with my H) whether he thought H was seeing OW again.

Is she crazy? I am so angry with her for this. Luckily H and I were able to have a calm conversation about it and not let it get to us. He could have thought I was still harbouring suspicious thoughts about him when in reality I have totally forgiven him. I used to be total friends with my sister and we would tell each other everything. Just lately though I have found her to be untrustworthy and she passes stuff on to people who have no right to know. She is bitter about her own sitch and I know she felt a pang of jealousy when H and I managed to get back together after the bomb, I feel like all she wants to do is drag me down with her. I don't know what to do about this, whether to confront and ask wtf she thinks she was doing or whether to just let it lie and not trust her with anything again? I don't want it to turn into all out war with her, we mind each other's kids and stuff after all and anyway who wants a split in the family?


Fran (feeling miserable)

if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs
Erica Jong