I don't know anything else to add to the advice you've been given. Your hands are pretty much tied as to what you can do while in the Military and living that far away. The phone calls are you life line to her and I would suggest that you keep those up. You might right things down on paper as the week goes by and you think of things to tell her. Then when you have a silent moment you can look at you motes and find a subject to discuss.
I would be strickly guessing here, but it sounds to me that she is holding this D over your head to get something she wants. What is she trying to make you do? The only thing I've seen is her wanting you to get out of the military. She probably blames the Military for the negative changes it made in you and she feels that if you got out and got a regular job that you all could be a family again and your anger problems would be over. When you answered her rather short by saying you "had a job", then she knew there was no point in trying to pursue the subject at that time.
Are you planning to make the Military a career? If so, did she realize this all along? Has she talked to you about the possibility of getting out before? I'm wondering if what she said was out of the blue and took you by surprise. If so, then she needs to stop playing the D card and holding over you head and talk some sense to you about what it is she "really" wants. A couple gets nowhere beating around a bush like this.
I think you are doing all you can since things are set up like they are. I know everyone is telling you that, but what more can you do?
Check back with you later, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
