Yeah.........I let my PMA slide this evening. I went to the dinner...only 3 new hires (out of 9) showed up.....but, it was fine. Not a big deal........it was ok. They all went to someone's house afterwards to drink...I did decline that. I have never been much of a drinker to begin with.....
I read over my entry prior to leaving and my nerves were getting the best of me.
Ms. Melancholy,
I do know that my H cares for me. He worked his butt off for 2 weeks prior to coming to visit me, so that he would have extra money to help me set up my apartment. I didn't take most of his help. He got really pist at one point and so I let him get a few things. No one does this if they don't care. On top of that he told me before he left that he wanted to be with me sexually every single day that he was here, but he did not want to have both of us more confused and end up in tears. He said this is hard enough...he has a lot to work thru.
I think you are right.........unfortunately, until he gave me the papers, I was relying on him for everything....financially and emotionally. So, it is a cruel way in which to get on your own 2 feet, but I am 35 years old....its about time. To be frank, I went from being taken care of by my father to being taken care of by my husband....at least financially.
The independence I feel right now is unique, exciting, and scary all at once! I am doing well, actually, and I need to focus on that.
I don't think my H has stopped "Feeling" responsible. I think after this visit...perhaps....the day he left, he did say that he feels really good bc I have set myself up well and he doesn't feel sorry or worried for me anymore. I was very insulted.....but, in a way, maybe now he can stop worrying.....maybe....who knows.
The only thing I do know is that if he needs space from me, I am willing to give that to him. I am just trying to understand why he wants this D. He even talked about getting re-married....starting over.....fresh....new....
I just heard MLC talk......so I just did not really respond.
But, we will see...for now I need to keep focusing on my own PMA!
