My husband is a pleaser to the detriment of his own pleasure in life. He will tell people what they want to hear and it isn't out of manipulation. He wants to believe it too. I really think that the "No More Mr. Nice Guy" book that Luckygirl has mentioned would be well-suited for H but I have to wait for a time when he tells me / realizes even a little that his "Nice Guy" status is getting in the way of achieving what he wants.
I agree with Lucky -- he's got it bad, especially with the "he will tell people what they want to hear" stuff. We can't reoommend other websites here, so I would instead recommend that you Google the phrases "Nice Guy Syndrome" and "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and do a little research (ignoring the Alice Cooper song ). There is even advice out for the the wives / GF's of Nice Guys about how to encourage your man to find and embrace the 'harder' (and sexier) aspects of his masculinity.
-- B.
Me 50, W 45, M for 26 yrs S25, D23, S13, S10 20+ year SSM; recovery began Oct 2007
). There is even advice out for the the wives / GF's of Nice Guys about how to encourage your man to find and embrace the 'harder' (and sexier) aspects of his masculinity.