Sorry you're here, but since what has happened with you and your spouse has happened...I'm glad you're here! This is real...it's bad...but it's real. Accept that. Stop thinking about your husband right now, and start thinking about you. I know you love him, and you want him back. Stopping thinking about him, and starting thinking about you doesn't change that. You just need to start doing the best things for you that you can. Start thinking about you; make 'you' your priority. It's not selfish...it's survival. Get busy and get active. Clean your house, work in your yard, go shopping, exercise, do things with friends, etc. Stay on this board, read the books, read other people's threads, pray, and make a commitment that you will become a better person, a better mother, and a better partner...no matter what! This is bad stuff that you're dealing with, but other people survive it, and you will too...even though it doesn't feel like it right now. This may take a long time, so buckle up...PATIENCE...learn it, live it.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
