There have been a few young women to come along on this board that stir up something in my heart. I automatically feel a connection and a "tenderness" (if you will) toward them. I can assure you that I do not talk to everyone kind all the time....and can be tough when I have to. But, you are one of those who do make me feel like I would toward a daughter and I want very much to see you taking steps in a positive way. I think you are doing that very thing and I will say if I am concerned that you are doing anything that isn't good for you. You have been very sweet in accepting my suggestions.
I think as a woman, most of us want to secretly see how men "fight" for us. Must be something from long ago, I don't know, but in spite of Women's Lib and all of that.....we seem to still have that desire. Especially when the H is a WAS. But, as I have said, I believe he could no longer deal with the stress and chose to run away. He knew he could not deal with it like a man and instead of facing you seeing "that" weakness in him.....I will always believe he chose to run off into the sunset. I'm afraid that he's disillusioned himself and will wake up one day to discover what a lasting mistake he made! Anyway, please don't think that it was b/c you were not worth the fight! It was him and has always been him since the day he chose this path. One person cannot make the "complete" couple. No matter what a great & wonderful lady you are, it could not make up for what he was personally lacking as a man and facing his situtation. I think he tried to convince himself he was "done" and ready to seek a different life. In the end, he will be sorry, but by then.....you will have a new life and will be at peace. I know you aren't out for revenge or anything like that. I know in your heart of hearts, you really don't want him to be unhappy and miserable for the rest of his life. That is b/c of "who" you are........and hopefully, you will never change from being that person.
I always feel after a certain point that I begin repeating myself, so just over-look me if I do that. I know that you are going to be fine but you have to get through this terrible process and allow time to heal.
I hope you will continue to post and to reach out to others on their threads. I believe you could be helpful to others.
Take care, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
