H just moved out, 13 months post-bomb

[Dawn of Hope]

Okay, I know I just posted for the first time in a couple of weeks, but I could use some encouragement. I just got off the phone after 2 hours of conversation with my friend, the one who's in her second marriage but is hopelessly in love with another man, and is devastated because OM no longer wants her. Yeah, we are having SO much fun trying to find common ground for discussion these days.

Anyway, most of the conversation revolved around her and OM, but she mentioned in passing something about conversations she had had recently with my H (she doesn't tell either of us much about what the other is saying--that's how she manages to stay friends with us both). She told me that my H says things to her like, "Well, up until a month ago, I would have been willing to do such and such, but now I'm not so sure" (referring to something or other about our M). See, this is why it is easier for me not to have any contact with him. I haven't heard anything out of his mouth to truly give me any hope or encouragement since the very beginning of all of this. If he says something positive, it's weighed down by so many negatives that it drowns.

It didn't help that my friend (who is very religious, to a point that I think of as hypocrisy because of her M/EA background) sort of insisted on starting a dispute with me about whether Jesus is okay with D when one's spouse has committed adultery (she, of course, believes he approves of D for that reason because that was what happened to her first M...I strongly disagree with that interpretation but try not to make anyone feel judged). I really don't like arguments, especially on religion, but I've never been a great debater, no matter how firmly I believe something. I'm just not good at coming up with clear, persuasive arguments.

Okay, I will cut this short, as I need to get ready for my piano recital, but I would really appreciate being reminded of what I already know. Could I order some encouragement in the face of what I have heard that my H said about his attitude about our M?

Peace,
Dawn