Can it get any worse?

[glamgirl]

Naej thank you. It's not about confronting him, but it's that i have great rage inside that all I want to do is climb on top of him and keep punching him until it all comes out. All while sobbing of course. Not a scene I want, but I can't help how I am feeling. Don't want to repeat my past from previos marriage. Not good!

Also I don't want to unleash my anger in front of the kids. Not a good thing. So it's not really about confronting him, it's more about self control. I need to confront him with grace, but that is not possible right now. I am not in a calm rational state at the moment. The sight of him will make me want to puke.

I went to the gym with D5 today and unleashed some of that pent up stress, by exercising. That helped.

I did eat a little this morning, but can't keep much food down. I just feel so sick after I eat. I am sure it is nerves. The good news the fat is dropping on this mlc diet, but not the way I want to get it off.

Well I am a wreck. H said he was coming over today on Thurs, not sure if that will happen. I tried to reach him but no answer and apparently now he has no v-mail.

Naej I did not disclose to s20. He doesn't need to see what a wreck I am. I am trying to be strong, but it's hard. Thanks Grace for posting.

You are all right. i need to let go of the why's. They will do no good, but I guess for me if I knew why then maybe I could understand this. Just maybe it all would make sense.