It takes awhile to get to true detachment. Of necessity and for self survival the first detachment is "forced". But as you face fears and DO WORK on yourself, you reach the point where you can "truly detach" in a loving way. You are kind, you are compassionate because you realise that doing so does not deprive you of any "power" that people speak about in relationships. be. It takes nothing away from you if that is how you are lead to conduct yourself. It does not make you small or powerless. In fact,to my mind it is not a power struggle at all. When you remove yourself from the "struggle", who does your S have to struggle with? Themselves, perhaps. But not you.
Truly detaching is a gift to self and others. It is the truest 180 of them all. That being said, it is more difficult with children in the mix, I imagine.
