What I've learned about detaching

[steady]

Detaching doesn't mean you don't love or care about your W wolverine. It's more about not allowing other circumstances or people (in this case your W) control you. You very well could detach and see the R more clearly and decide your W is not the person for you. Detachment takes the focus off your spouse and puts it squarely on you where it belongs.

Detaching is about having no expectations and a real knowing that you will be fine no matter which way the situation ends up. Detaching will make you much, much more attractive to your spouse because you will have become someone who is strong and independent - instead of clingy and needy. It's about knowing you don't NEED your W, but rather that you WANT to be with your W. There's a world of difference between the two.

Detachment is NOT about being cold, rude, passive aggressive, etc.. It's about not getting caught up in the drama of the spouses actions, words, trying to guess their feelings or intentions, etc...

Lovingly detach.

Detaching is the ultimate form of DB'ing. (in my opinion)