Newly separated...spouse left, 4th thread

[antlers]

Antlers, this is all good. Good for you!

I detect a power change happening in your situation. You've got her all flustered. Her angry behavior and snippy attitude CLEARLY show that you are still totally in her head. She's really angry about the past, you yourself have admitted she has reason to be angry. Just let her keep processing that anger. I think your text to her was perfect. Keep being the great guy you're being. Like I said before, your W might try being nice to you at some point, but realize it's a test. She has seen you consistently behaving differently, but that's with her gone and angry. She might try to test that consistency by changing her act a little bit. Maybe try being nice, or even purposefully bring up something she KNOWS really bugged you in the past, just to see that old you peak out and she can say to herself (or maybe even out loud to you) "See, there he is! I knew this was all a big show!"

Puppy said something profound in a post recently that struck me, and I think us LBS's should really take it to heart. He said something like

"We're told to believe nothing they say, and only half of what they do. If we don't believe they're thinking the same thing about us, we're fooling ourselves."

Hi futureunknown.

You really think all this anger and hurtful statements are 'all good'? Please elaborate some more for me. It's hard to get my head around it.

What do ya' mean about a power change? You think she's flustered? I thought her anger was subsiding, but recently it has come out full force again. I'm still in her head? Yeah...she has reason to be angry about the past. I hope she's processing it, and continues to do so. Thanks...my text was honestly from my heart...and I was pleased with it too. It felt good. I'm gonna continue getting better...no doubt! She's recently been telling me that I haven't changed at all...and never will!

We came back from Colorado this evening. Kiddos will spend the night with her the next 3 nights and she will bring them by Monday morning, and then the kids and I will leave again for a few days. My daughter was on the phone with her today while we were driving home, and my daughter told her that we were going to Great Wolf Lodge on Monday (a really nice indoor waterpark/hotel in Texas) for 3 days/nights. About a minute later I get the following text from my wife...

"I HATE YOU MORE AND MORE EACH DAY. I AM SO GLAD I'M NOT WITH YOU AND I WILL NEVER GO BACK. YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED ONE BIT AND YOU NEVER WILL. IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU."

Capitalized...like she was screaming at me!

I shed it like water off a duck's back. I haven't responded, and don't know that I will. I don't understand it...but I've been hearing lots of stuff like this from her recently.

Any feedback from any of you folks would be appreciated. I don't know about responding to this, or not?


futureunknown...how are you doing, man?