Good idea to vent here...heck let all that stuff out here...b/c that last thing you want to do is let your emotions trip you up while you're talking with her.
I just hit the one year since the bomb mark back in May...and, though my outlook differs from you - I think the work involved in getting to where we need to be stays the same regardless - and that comes down to being honorable - and ensuring that whatever changes we've made are real and lasting - and consistent.
Be kind to yourself, though, when it comes to having slips - how could it not happen? This stuff is among the most painful experiences any of us could ever go through.
I don't know if you've read my threads at all - but if you did, you would see that when I first arrived here I was a mess...and I spent many months turning to this site for a sense of hope - in my case, I think I put too much into asking how to "win" back my wife - which is partly why it took me so long to understand how important it was to work on myself.
Keep posting around the board- introducing yourself to more people - getting to know their stories. It's just incredible to me how much we can gain by offering others our perspective on their situation - sometimes we offer them the very advice we need to hear - but don't even see that until days/weeks later.
Work on yourself, and know that you will be fine no matter what happens.
