Thank you for posting to me!! I know what you mean about dating again, I just can't imagine finding anyone like my xh before MLC.
I think we are alike also, I can't bring myself to clean my house either. I did have it in a little better shape before I left but I'm sure I won't feel like it when I get back.
Thank you Snodderly, glamgirl, Vali and nlt for posting to me and your compliments.
I was doing quite alright last week and did a few fun things. I also have a new "hobby", i.e. I am collecting jokes – LOL. Despite all of this I was depressed again today. Nothing worked out the way I would have liked it to. And on top of it summer just doesn't want to arrive. In June the weather was hot for only two days and afterwards we have had storms in the evenings. So swimming is out of the question for me since I find it way too cold.
One of the guys I met the week before last only texted me twice briefly last week and I haven't heard from him anymore. I do hope he will get back together with his wife; however, I would appreciate it if he let me know what is happening.
XH wrote again asking me to get something done which I did. Two days later he wrote that he dreamt about me and in the dream I gave him back some of the money. - He is still trying to manipulate me to do it. I will just ignore it but it still makes me really sad. A few hours later he seemed quite normal again and wrote to thank me for doing what he asked me to do.
Vali, thanks for "validating" – LOL. At least I am not the only one who has a mess at home! I am like you at the moment. I would also like to just be with somebody who I like and be hugged. I noticed that if I finally meet someone I like (which is 1 in a million!) then he doesn't like me. Such is life and I cannot change it but it still depresses me.
At least I still GAL. I got to know a few people with whom I go to openings of exhibitions at art galleries. We use the French word "vernissage" for it. Then I got to know a lady who organizes a benefice evening with classical music and other performances at the end of the week and she asked me if I and some of my GFs would like to come. On the week-end I will have another family event. So this will keep me busy and hopefully, I will get distracted enough to not get depressed again.
I noticed that on the dating platform I use there are often the same people advertising again and again, and I am glad that I keep track of the ads I already replied to. I guess I would constantly reply to the same people if I didn't – LOL. At the moment "I am lying low" and don't reply to any ads but am waiting for "newcomers" to arrive.
The situation with my neighbour is not so tense anymore and I will try to keep it that way.
True, I have a really great come back about the dream and you gave him some of the money back....tell him the check's in the mail! Oh, that man is still trying to manipulate you any way that he can. What a fool! He should know by now that you are smarter than that!
Smart lady! That's wise to keep track of those you've already replied to.
Sounds to me like you are leading a very busy life. Glad to hear that things are starting to settle down with the neighbor.
Enjoy the rest of your week.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thank you for posting and your encouraging words. Yes, I have been busy lately with GAL – LOL!
I had to inform XH about something and also mentioned that I would appreciate it if he stopped asking me to return some of the money. If he mentions it again I will write something along the lines you suggested which I found funny.
I didn't do anything yesterday apart from going for a walk. But today I had quite a nice day. I met my GF and we went to the beach. It was still too cold for me to go swimming but she did. Since it was such a lovely evening and I passed my favourite restaurant I went for a coffee. I was surprised to find it full. When I asked the waiter if they had anything special going on I was told that it was such a nice evening and everybody wanted to enjoy it.
By chance I sat at the table next to two guys and we started chatting. These days I feel quite relaxed and confident when I go into a restaurant on my own. A GF told me that you get to know people easier if you are on your own. I noticed it to be true because it happened the second time that a guy was chatting me up.
The funny thing was that I thought the two guys were business men since one of them had a jacket on. When they told me that they came by bike I had to laugh and told them that I would have never dreamt that they came by bike because of wearing a jacket. They told me that their bikes had electric drives and they didn't have to pedal that hard and therefore could wear a jacket – LOL.
Another funny thing happened to me to day. When I was driving along I saw a guy in an open sports car driving towards me and I suddenly recognised him. It was one of the guys I met in spring!
Snodderly, I also wish you a nice rest of the week.
I'm so glad you are having a good time!! Check out my post when you get a chance, strange things!!!
I really do appreciate you posting to me. I think you are so right to follow Snodderly's advice on what to tell your ex about the money, that is so funny!! At least he is being nice to you right now.
You are so brave, I haven't gotten up the nerve to go to eat by myself. If I get something out, it's takeout.
You are doing great at GAL. I hope you have a nice weekend.
Thanks for posting and your encouraging words. I have been out and about and am trying to make the most of the few warm and nice summer days.
I have not been posting a lot lately since I am trying to get back into the "normal" life again. It seems to make me more depressed when I come to the BB and read about all the misery everybody is going through. It keeps reminding me what I went through and I really ought to leave it all behind me now. I have been here for over 3 years and soon it will be four years since my XH left. My wounds are healing a bit but I will always have some very deep scars! After all this time I still cannot listen to quite a lot of songs without getting teary eyes.
I keep thinking that it must be so much easier for XH not to think about me because nothing reminds him of me. It would be so much better if I could sell everything and move away, but I just cannot afford to do it, and apart from that I love the area I live in. I am quite alright if I go out or if I am in company even at home, but as soon as I am alone all the memories keep flooding back.
XH wrote again an angry e-mail about the money telling me I have a cheek to ask him to stop writing about it. Although I thought of writing what Snodderly suggested I won't do it because it will just infuriate him. So I went dark instead.
Lately I had a good time with going out to different cultural events and meeting friends.
Hi Snodderly,
I hope you are well and that the storms passed without leaving any damage. We have had lots of heavy down pours recently and I just hope that the one we are having now won't result in any floods. I don't think I have ever experienced a down pour as heavy as the one which is raging at the moment. It is as if somebody put a hose over the house or opened the floodgates!
True, Has your xh figured out yet that you both are divorced and that you do not need to put up with his crap? You have every right to ask him to stop raising the issue. I hope someone informs him very soon that you no longer have to sit there and take it.
Have a good weekend!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks for posting. As always I have enjoyed reading your post.
I had a silly and angry and another interesting e-mail from XH recently. I will update at another time.
At the moment I am enjoying life again for the first time after a long period. I have decided to just take each day as it comes. I do still get sad moments though.
The weather has improved a lot and today I went swimming for the first time this season.
Unfortunately, I have no interesting story re dating for you. However, I have not given up looking for Mr. Right yet and at the moment I started writing to an interesting guy. Let's see if it will lead somewhere.
True, I love your adventures, but it doesn't mean you have to have one every time you post. I'm more interested in knowing that you are enjoying life once again. You are what is important!
Enjoy the rest of your week.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Nice to hear from you again. I hope you are also enjoying the summer. – I am still doing fine.
Here is the promised update.
As I mentioned before I received a silly and angry e-mail from XH at the end of June in which he described some crazy things he did. It made me quite sad but I didn't believe a word he wrote and just ignored it.
Two days later he wrote again saying that he didn't really do the things he wrote about and he wouldn't want anything bad to happen to me. He called me by my pet name as well. – His e-mail made me laugh out loud.
Two days after this e-mail I received an e-mail from "friends". They wrote that they visited XH and described how and where he lived, etc. That he cannot afford to buy a car and that it is very dangerous to ride a motor bike like XH did.
I knew exactly that it was XH writing it in the name of our friends. So I called them and told them about it. They laughed and said they did visit him but they didn't write the e-mail. They said he does actually ride a motor bike and that it is dangerous and that he really cannot afford a car.
We talked a bit and it came up in the conversation that our friends saw that XH is still in MLC! I was also told that XH holds "his cards very closed to his chest" and didn't tell them much about him. I also told them that I might visit them in winter if I haven't found anybody to come on holiday with me. They asked me if I was looking for a partner and I said that I don't want to stay single all my life (I wonder if they will relay this to XH!). - I don't quite remember how the convo went but suddenly my friend said that the two of us had such a super life. It broke my heart to hear it from our friends and I just said that I did miss that life and XH, and I had to hang up.
Then I sent XH an e-mail saying that he made me laugh for the first time in four years. That I didn't believe that our friends sent the e-mail and that I called them. I also told XH that I didn't believe he was actually riding a bike. But since I don't really want him to be unsafe I would send him a small sum towards a car. However, it would be the last time I would contribute to anything. - I also mentioned how beautiful the area I live in is at the moment and that I experienced the most beautiful sunset recently.
Of course, he was happy that I would send him some money and wrote that he could not thank me enough and that my help would not go unappreciated. He also wrote that he is happy that he can still make me laugh!
XH wrote several times lately and always in a pleasant way writing a bit about how life is where he stays. He also wrote that when he was in hospital recently he was told that the place is full of people with bike accidents which worried him a lot.
Today he wrote again telling me what he watched on TV recently, and although he likes to live where he is he still misses my area sometimes! – He has not written that for at least three years! - I make sure that I mention my area each time when I write to him! (It is funny but just yesterday I said to my GF that I am amazed that he does not seem to miss his former life and the area he lived in. She said he would but he would not admit it to me!)
So you will all think that he finally partly reached his goal by manipulating me for so long. However, I feel less worried about him and am more at peace. It is only a small sum (and not what he initially wanted) and it does not affect my financial situation a lot since I can live cheaply at the moment.
I have had quite a nice time lately and enjoyed the hot summer weather and going out with my friends. I finally started swimming since the water got really warm. My sister invited my other sister and me to an outdoor performance of an opera on the week-end which we enjoyed a lot. We also enjoyed each other's company and had a good chat.
Re my dating I will meet the interesting guy on Wednesday I have been writing to for about one week. He is looking for somebody who can make him laugh and I wrote that I could possibly be the one – LOL! He is divorced and seems to be a nice and good looking guy (he sent me a picture). He also wrote that he met his XW 10 years ago on the same dating platform.
