The one thing I've learned from my research and my own divorce, is not to be haphazard with people's hearts. To me, the fact that you'd dissuade your own daughter, is the reason we should dissuade AFWAW from dating this 27 YO. Just in case she is in over her head and will be hurt, why not just find another women he is more sure will not be hurt? Why take the risk that she does not know what's she's in for? Why wouldn't we advise people to protect the hearts of new people they are dating, and to make appropriate adjustments when there is any possiblily of her getting hurt.
And she's got the potential to be really really hurt, not just hurt like you are from a relationship that breaks up. We all go through that. But being the unmarried girl dating the married man who is going through hell, you get a certain worse type of heartbreak. Why wouldn't we try to protect her from that?
There are 1000's of women potentially available to AFWAW, once he starts looking around. How about picking one who really "gets" what is going to be ahead for her?
There are several who will! And who will be happy to help AFWAW through his rough time and help him nurse his wounds and help him realize his potential as a MAN again. And many of them will be able to really empathize and understand him and what he's going through.
Its not about dating. Its about not putting other's hearts at risk if we think there is any chance of their future heartbreak. A more appropriate woman - say a divorced 32 YO with kids and a handful of life experiences - who really REALLY digs him - now that is out there and it is aplenty...why risk the younger one who likely will fall madly in love and get her heart broken?
The same way there is a script to WAW's and a formula to DB'ing, in the dating world there are also scripts and formulas. One of those formulas for single people is to NOT date a married person who is not divorced yet, because you will end up a casualty of their healing process. But that advice is given to a single person who is looking for a relationship. If the single person is just looking to date and doesn't want a commitment right now and doesn't have expectations for love in the near future, then dating a married person going through a divorce is fine.
My guess, and yes this is purely a guess, is that the 27YO is a single gal who is looking for love and marriage, not to just casually date a married man until he gets his act togther and gets divorced down the line.
I'll bow out now. I am having a hard time understanding why "doing the right thing" doesn't apply in this situation in PDT's opinion. But maybe I'm just way misunderstanding this thing. All I'm saying is, protecting her (27 yo's) heart should be important to AFWAW, and if she could get hurt, he should look somewhere else.
