Its not about AFWAW's right to be happy. Its about the poor young girl who does NOT KNOW what she is in for. No matter what if she knows his situation, trust me that she doesn't KNOW what that will mean to her own future, her life, her desires and dreams, if she gets too involved in his life. Can't she be free of his freaking drama?
Why can't he go out with someone who has more life experience and can better handle the drama? There are plenty of divorced women with kids and psycho ex's who will REALLY understand what AFWAW's is going through and who will REALLY understand what it means to pursue a heartbroken man who's wife just left him!
The 27 year old has no clue.
He definitely SHOULD start chasing down some dates and have some fun and detach from his wife. But why can't he pick a more suitable woman to pursue???
Someone his own age with similar life experience!!
Good lord.
DQ
DQ, you make her sound like an adolescent. She's TWENTY-SEVEN -- an adult woman. And it's not like John is 55; he's 39 for gosh sake.
DQ, I love most of your stuff, but I found this post very condescending of this woman -- and of John. Whether or not you approve of dating when you're still married (I personally don't), I would never be so dismissive of a 27 year old mature adult, who's perfectly capable of making her own decisions.
Puppy
Last edited by Puppy Dog Tails; 06/26/0908:01 PM. Reason: added text in italics
Not only that, but if the 27 year old... aka WOMAN, is showing him that she wants to date him, then that WILL make HER happy. If he doesn't then she will be unhappy because she will feel like something is wrong with her that a man won't go out with her when his wife has told him time and again that she doesn't want to get back with him.
Looks like she could be hurt or unhappy no matter which direction AFWAW goes...
However,it COULD WORK OUT WONDERFULLY.... YES IT COULD... (I am sure you haven't entertained that idea have you?)
Quit being so judgemental... Gloom and doom...
You have no idea what this woman is in for anymore than the rest of us...
You are making an LOT of assumptions about things....
AFWAW.. Remember. People WILL try to bring you down when you get happy. People will always try to get you to look at the bad when you see the good.
They are going to try it on here.
She is a big girl. She can make her own decisions. DanceQueen doesn't need to make them for her or you...
When you realize that.. YOU are on your way to happiness...
I don't really think this is about the age Puppy..
I get a feeling this has to do with people trying to push their morals on others...
I think it is the word DATING...
They want him to stay longsuffering and unhappy and wondering what he should do instead of taking the bull by the horns and living life to the fullest......
I know many of my friends would have ridden me to no end if I would have had a chance to date a good looking woman and said no because I was waiting for a woman that was using me and screwing around on me for months on end.....
I wouldn't have blamed them for riding me about that if I would have been so stupid....
I know for sure that she would NOT understand all the drama that would come into play by dating a married man whose wife just left him and who is not emotinoally steady yet. If she was telling me "oh mom, he's nice...its just casual, no big deal" I would know she was in for a huge let down and drama ride.
I would steer her toward a nice UNmarried man who isn't in the midst of drama.
On the other hand, if I knew AFWAW in person, I would be doing EVERYTHING I can to set him up with as many appropriate women as possible! I would be encouraging him (and I have done so on this thread) to kick his wife to the curb and not look backwards. I would be helping him find his new life and move forward.
But the 27 YO just simply doesn't *know* what she would be in for. How could she unless she has already dated a MARRIED man who's wife just left him???
I have read literally 1000's of posts on many message boards, and rebound relationships are only good for the rebounder. The "new" person almost always gets screwed over.
I guarantee you that the 27 YO does NOT think she is headed toward a rebound with AFWAW. She thinks they will fall in love and live happily ever after, with no clue that even if that DID happen, it is going to be years before AFWAWs drama has died down and it is going to make a new relationship with him very difficult.
On the other hand, there are many MANY women who would love to simply date him, not fall in love, even be f-buddies, and who will know better than to expect a future with him.
The 27 YO will not be able to keep this a casual relationship, and she will become a casualty of AFWAW's wife bull crap.
PDT - You would condone your 22 year old daughter dating a 35 or older MARRIED man who's wife is crazy and jerking him around? You would trust her to somehow magically *know* what she was getting herself into?
Nope -- I'd try to dissuade her. But at the end of the day, it would be HER decision, and I think she's capable of making it. My 20yo, on the other hand, is an emotional wreck and can barely find her way to WORK in the morning, lol.
People have different levels of maturity. And lest we get like the liquor store who posts the sign "HAVE I.D. READY IF YOU ARE UNDER 35" -- when the drinking age is really 21 -- we're talking about a TWENTY-SEVEN YEAR OLD here, not a 22 year old.
I guess we're going to have to agree to disagree, DQ.
Puppy
Last edited by Puppy Dog Tails; 06/26/0908:29 PM. Reason: correction of age
