he was back, i think

[mdoodles]

i have plenty of support, plenty of friends.

on tuesday h told me he wanted to come today, in the afternoon.

i said, ok, i have plans during the day and will be home not before 3, but will be home.

i have not called him since then....i contemplated texting him or calling him earlier today to confirm when i would be home, but i didnt....sure enough, my cell rings at 2:50, calling me from my house, asking when i will be home.

im glad i was not home when he got here, he was early and i guess he expected i would be here waiting.

glad i wasnt.

honestly, i hate the anxiety i feel in seeing him now, i hate the knot in my stomach.

i hate how he can be all over me last week and turn cold the next day.

i do feel the need to fully detach, like u all say. i do.

im so getting there because i do not like the way i feel.

he looks miserable and is acting miserable.

he is a total kiljoy.

i truly wish i never had to see him again, to make this easier, but i know its not possible.