(sigh)....I love Gucci, but AFWAW dude...the 27 year old is going to get hurt in this process, unless she wants to get jerked around by you as you get jerked around by your wife. So you date 27YO for a few weeks, the wife freaks out and begs you back, so you go back, then the wife leaves again, you call 27YO, she is hurt but goes out with you again....2 weeks later the wife freaks again...rinse repeat rinse repeat...this poor 27YO has no idea what kind of drama she is about to join into.
PLEASE don't date if there is ANY chance you will take your wife back yet again...PLEASE.
This advice is not the same for everyone but in your case...please don't take that poor young thang down the road to hell you are on.
Get yer act together, and THEN date all the 27YO's you want!
Gotta chime in here....I agree with Dance Queen! 27 year old hotties are people too. They have wants and needs of someone just starting out in life, i.e. marriage, babies, etc. Often needs that don't "gel" with 40 yr old men. As a former 27 yr old hottie that married the 40 year old, I can say firsthand that these May-Dec. relationships only work well for the "older" person. The young lady, unless she's just playing ya, will get hurt. Not to mention the reaction of your 13 old daughter...the "hottie" is only twice her age.
You're getting good advice on dealing with WAW. Please don't use 27 year old hotties to prop up your mojo. There are better ways! I'm cheering for ya...c'mon man!
PLEASE don't date if there is ANY chance you will take your wife back yet again...PLEASE.
His wife is NOT coming back until he lets go. REPEAT...
UNTIL he lets go she is NOT coming back.
NO MATTER HOW LONG A PERSON WAITS to date, there is NO guarantee that one of the daters isn't going to be hurt.
Are you trying to keep this man from being happy?
He is perfectly fine NOW. Just the way he is. IF he isn't ready to date another person who DOES like him, he most certainly isn't ready to get back with his wife or date her while she doesn't want him.....
Get real people. We can talk all day about what "could" happen and on and on and on...
They COULD fall in love and be perfect for each other also....
Time to move on AFWAW.. It is time. Long overdue. Quit doing this to yourself and go for the gusto. Time to start making yourself happy. Quit wallowing in the mud.
She isn't coming back until you let go. It can't work until you let go. She won't love you in the way you want until you let go. She can't respect you deep inside because you won't grow a backbone and tell her you have had ENOUGH. You will earn INSTANT respect when you let go.
Sorry you are so blinded that you can't see these obvious truths....
27 year olds are adults, perfectly capable of making their own decisions about their love life -- whom to get involved with, whom not to. If AFWAW tells a woman up front what his sitch is, then it's up to her to decide.
I personally don't think it's fair for HIM to, because it ordinarily makes the LBS too emotionally hung up on the "new love" to be able to receive any emotional connections from their wayward spouse if and when they come to their senses and decide to give them, but in this case, I really don't see his wife coming back.
27 year olds are adults, perfectly capable of making their own decisions about their love life -- whom to get involved with, whom not to. If AFWAW tells a woman up front what his sitch is, then it's up to her to decide.
Puppy, Here's the thing, she already knows my sitch. She knows my wife left me and that I'm still not divorced and has still approached me. So, I've got another week in New Mexico and when I get back I intend to call her I think. If I don't someone else will.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
Yeah, WTF? I've been unhappy for long enough. Thanks, Gucci!
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
It would be a shame if you let someone wonderful pass by while you are waiting for someone who is less-than-wonderful-at-the-moment come to her senses.
Its not about AFWAW's right to be happy. Its about the poor young girl who does NOT KNOW what she is in for. No matter what if she knows his situation, trust me that she doesn't KNOW what that will mean to her own future, her life, her desires and dreams, if she gets too involved in his life. Can't she be free of his freaking drama?
Why can't he go out with someone who has more life experience and can better handle the drama? There are plenty of divorced women with kids and psycho ex's who will REALLY understand what AFWAW's is going through and who will REALLY understand what it means to pursue a heartbroken man who's wife just left him!
The 27 year old has no clue.
He definitely SHOULD start chasing down some dates and have some fun and detach from his wife. But why can't he pick a more suitable woman to pursue???
Someone his own age with similar life experience!!
Yeah, WTF? I've been unhappy for long enough. Thanks, Gucci!
Your welcome..
I sure wish you would just listen to me and follow the plan. I have done this more than you will ever know. Saved quite a few.
Matter of fact I just helped my own 22 year old daughter get her boyfriend come BEGGING back to HER. EVEN my own daughter had doubts about he ole Gooch's advice. HOWEVER, she did follow it. Of course it worked like a charm..
Want to know what she told her mom? (who then told me)
Dad was RIGHT.. How does he know this stuff mom? I would never have believed that BF would have been calling me wanting to get back together....
I just smiled and told her to tell our daughter that I don't tell these secrets about men to very many women. Just the ones that need it...
The story was that HE was involved with a couple of other women and she didnt' know about it. When she found out, she called me and asked me what she should do......
Gooch: "Tell him that you do not share your love when in an exclusive relationship. Don't call him. Start DATING IMMEDIATELY. If he does call, be polite, cut him short by saying.. Hey I was just in the middle of ________ (fill it in with anything busy) and I can't talk right now,but I will call you back.... and then DO NOT call back"
It took about 4 or 5 weeks. He was testing her resolve.. He started calling and she did exactly as her dad told her to do. (even though she didn't FEEL like it)(good girl for listening to your daddy who has YOUR best interest at heart)
She casually dated and just went out and had fun. Nothing serious in her mind, but she did it anyway....
Guess who came POUNDING on her door WANTING to talk and begging and pleading and yada yada yada....
YEP.....
Guess who NOW has the power of negotiation in that relationship?
THAT is how it works AFWAW... I have seen it again and again and again.
Why do we not see more results on this site? ask yourself that question.
The answer is because we don't see people applying STRONG decisive, I will not share attitudes. Too much "hanging and hoping and oh see how much I changed" nonsense....
My daughter didn't need to change to get him back. She needed to show him that she valued her worth and self esteem more.
Same as you need to do...
Go out. Date this 27 year old. I don't believe I have told you to marry her or ask for a committment on the first hour of the first date. CASUAL... It isn't rocket science to go out with a woman for a drink or coffee or whatever. Keep it light.
Don't listen to people on here telling you not to date, and all the while giving you advice on how to apply principles to get a woman back that has blatantly been having sex with other men and has treated you like you are a nobody. Lying, cheating,using you and not being a good mother.
Given the choice.. Any sane man would take a woman who likes him and SHOWS and wants to show him interest, than in a woman who would sink so low that she would not only have sex with another man or men, but then tell YOU that she is in love with him.. WHILE the OM is MARRIED...
It is your WIFE who you should not be dating... GET IT?
