It has been so long since I have posted that I can’t even find my old thread. Not sure when it was but I think it is prior to me finding out that my STBX moved in with his MOW (….not sure if she is still married…but whatever) and her 3 children.
It was around d14’s birthday in March that I found out that they had moved in together. I guess all of his cake eating, confusion, crying, calls in the middle of the night to me, etc. led him to her once she and her husband sold there house and separated. He didn’t need me to be his back up plan anymore. She now could “take care” of him and financially let him stay a bartender while living at a house she owns. I am not sure if they are D but who cares.
Anyway, I have to say that since that time I have truly let my H go. I do not know this man and I don’t care for what he has become. He has morphed into what she has created him to be….a teenager in a 45 year old body.
D14 spends Sundays with him, usually at their house. Sometimes she does not want to go and he forces her into it. It is really pathetic. D14 told me she does not care for MOW’s children and she is bored at their house. She says it is awkward seeing her father living with other people and he tried to be Disney Dad. I stay out of it. If she wants to go she goes if she doesn’t she doesn’t. She is old enough and mature enough to make that decision on her own.
A few weeks ago H picked up d with MOW’s D in MOW’s brand new minivan. MOW’s D even walked over to where I was. I thought that it was so rude and tacky to throw that in my face that from that point on I don’t want to have anything to do with him …at all. When he dropped D off later that night (in MOWs new van) he and D must have had a fight because he pulled out so fast that he backed into my mailbox and broke the taillight. From that point on I don’t think he is allowed to drive her car….
S17 on the other hand still wants nothing to do with H. H is ashamed of what H has become and when he saw H and MOW at d14’s jr. high graduation he couldn’t believe what, to quote him, a “harlot” she looked like. Exact words from s17. I saw them there as well. I kept my distance. Standing in the hall I looked over at H giving me a stare down. Whatever.
As for me, well the house is still on the market. H had taken out a court order for me to get it ready to sell on the inside and he would clean up the outside. I took care of my part and he has not touched his. I guess he doesn’t realize that I can enforce the order as well which I may. The outside looks awful and it is another of the countless responsibilities he has walked away from. I am tired of doing EVERYTHING and I will not do this. If he can’t do it then he can hire someone. It is unreal.
Since H, as of this month, stopped paying the mortgage. Our “agreement” was he was going to pay the mortgage ($800/month) and I would not file for support. Last week, I filed for support. Waiting to find out when my hearing is going to be and wondering how H could not give a dime to supporting his kids this month. At all.
I have to say I am a little worried about the support I will be getting. As a bartender he certainly can hide some of his cash income. If anyone out there has any knowledge of how to prove income like this….please let me know.
So for now, H is living the life he wanted…without me. Having good times in his new house with his new family. I try not to think of him, which is hard to do, and I have to remember he is not thinking of me…..so why waste my time. All he has done has hurt me and then thrown it in my face. I feel like he used me until my money ran dry and then fled for greener pastures.
I thank the Lord for my children and my father. They have kept me sane and focused. I am trying to move forward with my life. I find it hard still to go out often as I really enjoy being with d14 and she is usually around. I don’t want her to think that she is anything but my number 1 priority since she feels like she is not H’s priority at all.
So that’s it in a nutshell.
Snodderly, I hope that all is well in your neck of the woods. I don’t think I would be as strong as I feel now without your guidance and support. I am not sure what the next phase of my life is going to be but I know that I am a better person and mother having gone through all of this.
