Well, I don't mean to look hoochy but it's tough in a dress & I like to wear bright colors not to be hoochy but just b/c I like them. Maybe I'll see if I can get a dark skirt and I've got a black shirt that kind of is minimizing. Just a skirt shouldn't be too bad, and I could wear it again at the final hearing too with a different shirt? I think pants might be too casual...I'm starting too stress. The L emailed me today I need to figure out current financials b/c we did the last ones a year ago, and I also want to type up a summary of what the evaluator told me, so that's my day tomorrow. And they want me to help out tomorrow and Friday at the play, but I think that's good b/c it's fun and take my mind off next week!
I had a cat scan today and told S15 I'd have to go to the dr. this am, and he said you don't have cancer or anything, this is my stoic never-worried son, and he sounded kind of worried. I told him, no, no, just prob. a kidney stone, no big deal, and just have to change my diet prob. Less chocolate if so I just think this past 2 years has really made S15 aware I'm the main parent of the 2, it's sweet, but extra pressure to stay healthy and all... Karen
I understand the overwhelming worry about feeling/staying healthy. All I can think of when I start to feel sick or eat something "not so good"...is omg, if something happens to me, K goes to her Dad and OW. no No NO.
Slacks aren't too casual, really. I would say a dark skirt/slacks and a light shirt...lt. blue, lilac, white, beige. Just something that doesn't look too flashy. You just want to look put together and mature, dependable, reliable...you get the picture. You WILL be fine, really!!!
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
What did you wear to your job interview? I think that would be appropriate. Even though, I would maybe wear the red... I know that it might not be appropriate, but...
I thought I didnt have insurance for a while when H and I had stopped communicating, so I understand about the concern for your health. I just prayed that if it happened I would get hurt at work!
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
Well hopefully almost over. L tomorrow and mediation Monday. Still don't know what to wear! And unless I take way less on the child support/alimony than I can afford to and get bills paid, I suspect we'll be arguing that out at final hearing. I guess the good news is hsing and custody prob. won't be a problem.
I saw the C this am. Was good to talk out stuff re: the kids with her. She thinks S15 would get eaten alive in public school. And D9 in a special ed classroom wouldn't be a happy camper either. I would be surprised anyway if H would push for the hour or 2 a day for either of them. I think he really wanted them to be in full-time so I could work full-time.
I do think C for me other than that is kind of a waste. It really made me feel good to hear good stuff about myself when I first started going b/c my self esteem was in the toilet, but don't feel like I need that now. And I feel a lot stronger; she helped a lot with that, but now kind of think I don't need much more help with that.
Helped out at the theater today and will tomorrow. Cool, b/c I'll watch the play from backstage and going to help the kids with quick changes. Warned some of my friends that H was prob. going to be there I would think. At least D9 and I invited him. One of my friends was saying today it took her the longest time to realize that H was D9's dad. They were in a play along with my friend and her daughters a year ago during the start of the PA/bomb, etc. Apparently he never really interacted with D9 during the play/rehearsal. I told her I think he was really focused on the OW at that point; don't think he prob. focused on much else really.
Blue, I did wear the red dress on the last interview I had. Can't wear the purple b/c it's longsleeved & about 100 degrees or hotter here lately.
OK, my weird sense of humor prob. but today I noticed that the Jafar costume in my dd's play was H's costume in the King and I. Jafar is being played by a 12 year old boy, not even big or tall for his age! Karen
met with the L and glad that's over. She's going to ask for reimbursement of half the copays I've made which would be well over $1000 and prob. close to $2000 for the kids the past 6 months.
That would be great so I could do all the stuff like the vet and stuff I've had to put off. She's going to ask for him to make the copays ($400 to $500 a month) until I get a job, and then 50/50 once I get a job which seems fair. Do I think he'll agree. Of course not!! I'm just so ready to get this over with!!! The L has already gotten paid $5000 and wants further payment before final hearing so I guess she wants prob. another $2500 or so at least from H or she will ask my brother for it. I hate for that to happen since my brother already paid the $2500 retainer. At least I'm glad I didn't listen to her and file for the D myself, when she was saying how great this all will be for me. Yes, emotionally it will be but financially it's not of course. Karen
Be prepared for your husband to try to negotiate directly with you on this, plus be PISSED about it.
DON'T ENGAGE. Tell him that "now that this is legal, we should probably best leave it for the attorneys," and be done with it. Or, "That's an interesting thought; let me discuss it with my attorney." That sort of thing.
Be prepared for your husband to try to negotiate directly with you on this, plus be PISSED about it.
Puppy
You mean when he tries to negotiate with me afterwards or on the side, or actually during mediation? He doesn't think I'm smart and thinks I'm weak, and he may be in for a surprise, don't cha think? How does mediation usually go? My L didn't say anything, just asked me 500 questions. Do the Ls talk and the mediator. Can I just sit there and say yes or no or whatever? I'm confused!
Why do you think he'll be pissed? I mean b/c he prob. won't get everything he wants (I anticipate the same of course).
I mean on the side. Mediation is SUPPOSED to be only worked out IN the mediation, but I'm anticipating that he'll come back directly at you when he finds out what you guys are asking to have included with the co-pays. I could be wrong.
Fun day! Helped out at the theatre & did backstage. I love the kids! They were so great! D9 was the cutest tiger ever, and everyone said how impressed they were with her roar.
I give H credit b/c he attended the play. Didn't bring OW. Whew! He hung out at the edge of the lobby after. and looked like he was in agony. One of our mutual friends, kind of but really she's more my friend, was saying she thought he looked like he was hiding from her, and she saw him check his watch 5 times while waiting for D9. He ran out of the theatre with D9, and I had her backpack with medication. I called him as soon as I realized they were gone and left a vm that I had her pack and medication.
I didn't see H for a while, but when I came out from backstage, almost all my friends were there, just like 100 friends it seemed like were hugging me and telling me what a good job D9 had done, and everything. Then we spent an hour striking the set, and waited for H to show and he didn't.
I got home a little while ago and found 3 vms on my phone which I had left at the house with S15. H had looked all over for D9's meds and I guess didn't check his vm or whatever. I emailed him I just got back and had the pack with me. He called and I broke my nc rule and he was actually cool about it all, very unlike him. Maybe he's trying to get on my good side for mediation? I'm so cynical. We talked for about 10 minutes and he talked to me like a normal person. Very weird. Then sent me 2 emails afterwards. Definitely buttering I think. Karen
It does sound like he's playing nice-nice for now. How long it'll last depends on how many mediation sessions there are, if I had to give my cynical guess.
And I am not all that sympathetic towards a WAS having to squirm because of the situation they created. So he's uncomfortable around your friends, huh? I say, tough cookies, bud.
Anyways you sound great and appear to be in your element performing in these plays. Keep on doing what is best for you and the kids.
I just think this past 2 years has really made S15 aware I'm the main parent of the 2, it's sweet, but extra pressure to stay healthy and all... Karen
How does mediation usually go? My L didn't say anything, just asked me 500 questions. Do the Ls talk and the mediator. Can I just sit there and say yes or no or whatever? I'm confused!