Is 6 months too late?

[The Wifey]

Wifey,

I did read the books at least twice and I'm trying so hard!! And I'm glad that you can also see what the parents are doing.

I guess he is letting them make his decisions for him, well I kind of knew that about after a month of his leaving!!! Thanks for being there for me, and also thanks for giving me hope that it's not too late to save my marriage!!!

Needinghope,

I did the same things that you did! I packed the clothes (which there was alot that he didn't take) and put them in totes, took down our wedding picture etc. I just need to get to the point that you are at where I will know I will be alright with or without him!!! Maybe it's my age, I get really scared at the thoughts of having to start all over again with dating, etc.

This is my 2nd marriage, first one destroyed because H couldn't say NO to drugs like we teach our children to do!!!

Ok. Now what I am going to say is going to make you think I'm totally nuts. (And some would agree with that assessment.)

Don't try. Don't work hard at it right now. Sometimes the very best thing to do when you don't know what to do is to do nothing.

Work on you. Do things that make you happy. Take care of YOU. Let his Mommie and Daddie have him right now. They helped make the monster.

Down the road there will be time for you to DO something, but right now nothing you actively do is going to change his course.

Boxing up his stuff is a great idea. There is still a pile of boxes in the basement and our old bed in storage that were done the day he moved out. (Incidentally - My husband lives with his Mommie & Daddy, too.)

The next time my H came to the house after he first left I wasn't home. He left me a note that said we were forever connected and that he hoped I wasn't erased from his life like his was in our house. Sadly, that was 7 months ago, so it is a long process.