Hubby and I have been spending all our time together.. great family time. He says he is 100% in to making things work...my only hesitation and doubt is..I dont feel he goes out of his way to reassure me he is not thinking of her or contact with her is over... his phone is never anywhere in sight..
If I was in his shoes.. I would put it on the counter...out in the open..i think i am reading too much into stuff but.. his phone was his beginning of cheating with her..so I will hold onto that doubt until he proves other wise..
We have not had our joint counseling yet..I know that will help.
I never really have been able to understand or get into his head on what REALLY happened...what he REALLY felt with her...
I know its not about her..its about him... but I still have to see her every day..its a constant reminder that at some point I was not good enough..
It drives me crazy..cuz she actually is nasty..plain.. scrawny... and absolutely no personality..like a noodle! I know the women here will understand how that feels...
Ugh.. its just a hard pill to swallow... all I can do is hope ..
So, he pays rent on the 1st.. he says he will be giving his 20 day notice. Financially ..we are screwed... but money and credit dont really mean [censored]..lol if we can keep our house..we can pay cash for anything we need.
We make good money.. just now deeply in debt over all this.
I am in 100% to work on this..just deep down.. hope I am not settling for him settling..does that make sense? I just want to be loved.. but can he love me the way I need?
He feels I am losing my patience.. but this has drug out so long... I just need normalcy and for it to all be over.. can we get back what we once had? The trust ?
For the most part... I try not to think about it..but sometimes it is hard...
Sorry I skipped around so much... this whole thing gets me crazy!
