I have been up and down over the past few days I have to say.
However, yesterday I found the most lovely place to live! I had spent the afternoon looking round some right dives, really awful, but then came an oasis in the form of a little cottage in the heart of a really lovely part of London that I can afford! It is very quirky and small but cosy and the location is wonderful - leafy roads and lovely cafes and pubs.
It is really near Hampstead Heath and Waterlow Park. It is about 20 mins from the centre of town and about the same from my parents. Perfect! I'll post a pic of the cottage in the alt. universe and take nicer ones when I move in.
I thought I would be over the moon but I came away feeling a bit flat and... alone?? However the more I am talking about it to people the more excited I am and I came home and gave my little cat a huge cuddle, which she hated, and I felt 10 times better. I think/ hope we'll be very happy there.
I took a risk and casually very invited h to come on the visit with me as he was very excited about it. He sent back a nice text about how he would have loved to but his boss was taking him out as it was his last week. I expected this but wanted to make the gesture. However he did wanted to hear all about it and sent me and email asking about it and some solicitor stuff.
OMG JULIA!!!!!!! Your description of the cottage made me SO EXCITED!!!! Did you already sign the lease, or do you have to wait to be approved? It seems you are magical at finding new places to live, I wish you could be my helper when I move out of atlanta!!! looking for apts is one of my least favorite things in the world and you did it in one day???!!!
Lol, thanks guys. I'm a get things done kind of girl (which is why h's habit of dragging things out like arrangements etc is SO aggrevating to me). I do have to get approved but when the Agent asked me what I did for a living and I said I ran a small charitable trust she laughed and said that she couldn't think of anything more perfect! So funny when people hear that I do that, also people assume I do it for free, um no, it's a job and I get paid for it!
I had also spotted it a few weeks ago and knew it would be perfect but didn't get my hopes up in case it had gone.
oooh, ooooh I forgot to say that I went for an amazing meal at the Oxo Tower last night with my sister for our birthdays. The food was amazing and it was so relaxing. We had just gone for the final fitting of her wedding dress and it is gorgeous! Hen night this weekend. I have a feeling that I am going to have a bad hangover on Sunday...
I keep having to defend h at the moment over the move. Friends and family are incensed that he didn't help me pack. My answer is that I didn't ask him, and in fact it was preferable to do it by myself.
They don't see or appreciate that he is helping me tremendously by physically moving me. That is a big thing and I really appreciate it. It is something where he really can help me, if he had helped me to pack I guarantee he would have been more of a hindrance as it isn't his thing - clearly by his own packing
It is so annoying having to go through this continuously with people!
On an h update, I expected no contact this week with him as it is his last week at his new job but he has been in email contact a lot. Organising the van, being enthusiastic about my house, even today emailing me to say that he has had to use our account as he has had credit card fraud on his but that he would pay it back next week. That was on his last day at work - i never would have got that attention before. Plus he was always Uncommunicative about finance stuff so it was positive he let me know.
I just have this feeling that your house, has been another "physical" guilt reminder for your H. And felt that he could never move back there. Just my own analyzing, I guess.
Have a fun weekend!!!!
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
No need to defend your H to people. They are going to think what they want to think. If they see him or speak to him they will cover up their true feelings out of respect for you so don't worry about it.
Example - just this morning Gabe called my office to ask me a question and one of my friend's answered the phone. She sounded cheery when he said who it was, put him on hold, looked at me and said in a somewhat stunned voice, "It's Gabe. WTH?" Hee hee....just knowing how much she loathes him and would like to rip his eyes out their sockets it was impressive to hear her being 'sweet' to him.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Mishka, that is fantastic advice thank you! I will really take it on board. I will zone out and try not to get into it wiht people, it is impossible to change peoples minds about him by telling them. That is so nice of your friend!
MsM, also really excellent advice, thank you. I agree with you totally, I guess I hadn't thought of it that way. That he can never move back to this place. I pondered on that one in my lunch hour!
