Can it get any worse?

[glamgirl]

I am devastated to say the least. H was over yesterday and I checked the mail and there was a letter from the state. It was a letter for child support. I was dumbfounded. Of course, h claims his innocence.

Of course I ask him all the questions. He claims he has been with nobody and he knows only as much as I do. Now the papers don't say a name or anything. I couldn't even talk to my h. He left soon after at my request. I just said I need some time and I think it's best you leave.

He said he would call the state today to see what the papers are all about. I said to h these are pretty serious allegations that people don't just make up.

I am so lost right now. Meaning, I have no idea what these papers are about and where is my future with h now. Could it really be possible he has had a child with another woman. Please tell me that is not true.

If it is true, my h is such a dumb F for finding himself in this situation. How can he have respect for himself, this woman and myself.

I really don't know who this man is anymore. How could he do this to himself, this woman, and to his family? He was once so well respected.

I have no experience in this area and find it very awkward to be in this situation. I should be crying and angry, but I am numb. So hurt and disappointed that my h should find himself in this situation.

I really don't know what to do at this point. Did I really marry that dumb of a guy? From what I married and who he is today are worlds a part. I can't wrap my head around his stupid idiotic behavior. It baffles me.

Maybe this explains why he can't come home or the whole secrecy thing. Maybe this explains a lot of who he has been the past 3 years.

I don't know where to start or where to go. I want this nightmare to end.

Please pray for me. I need all the strength I can get right now.