Wow. This is an amazing post. Thank you for sharing your eloquent expression of all that you have learned on your own journey. I know many of us here, certainly I, can benefit from all that you share.
So much of what you have written is, really, the essence of the work we all need to do on ourselves, every day. Like you, I no longer see the benefit, or the merit for that matter, in talking about our spouses, focused on our losses or the roots of our current circumstances. Living, really living requires us to have our eyes wide open and facing forward, at least that is one of the things I have learned over the last 10 months that I have been here.
Your saying that you still love your SBXW made me ask myself that question about my SBXH. The answer is that I do love him, but I would not use the word "still" because the love is different now...it is a new love for a person I have known a long time but who is, himself, very different from the person I met and married. I am very different today, too. As you pointed out, letting go has been a process and part of that process has been accepting SBXH as he is today. Funny thing is that all the while I was learning to accept SBXH as he is today, I was, it turns out, learning to accept myself, too.
Oops, starting to feel like a hijacking...think I will stop myself and end with thanks to you, Carlos, for another great post.
