What I've learned about detaching

[Looking_For_Help]

Hello Steady,

Your post is a great read...I'm learning alot from everyone else on this board. Based on your description of detachment, I'm not there yet. I'm still concerned about what my W is thinking and doing. I'm still concerned about the impact my actions are having on her thought processes. There are times that I believe I don't give a heck, but that may be lip service or just a temporary feeling that quickly dissapates. My concern is that if I am successful in detaching, will my W perceive it as me being cold and uninterested in her...a signal for her to proceed with the next steps? We are separated but living in the same house with the kids. My DB coach as suggested that I be warm and compassionate ("kill her with kindness")as a 180. I am getting a life and I am focusing on becoming a better person. Fortunately, I am feeding my body and soul as I go through this unexpected challenge in my life.

Thanks,
LFH