True Love or True Fog? Changing Forums

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

BH--

Good stuff and I am glad I popped into Silver's thread and saw this today. I am about 19 months into my DH's long distance affair--complicated by a 7 month military deployment in the middle of it. I feel like I had started over at the beginning by the time he came home from deployment, but I am definitely in a MUCH better place than I was back at the beginning.

When I read the list of characteristics of a romantic affair, it was like reading my DH's script. I am doing all right and can wait as long as it takes for this all to fall apart. I have seen the OW beginning to put pressure on him and I know it is only a matter of time (of course, how much time who knows!). I take some comfort in knowing that there is a good chance that their relationship will implode. I just keep working on me and taking care of myself and the kids until that happens.

I am also completely prepared to move forward alone if need be. I know what my legal rights and entitlements are--DH has been paying for me to attend college and I am, ironically enough, studying Family Law. I have spoken informally with an attorney and she says she will also go after him for all legal fees. My mother will lend me the money for the retainer, though, if needed, to get things started. I pray it will not come to that.

DH is looking at, right now, having to give me about $3500 a month between spousal and child support. I do not want to even think about what I will be entitled to from his retirement and military savings plans. The attorney told me it will be substantial and DH can plan on not having much left post-retirement. The attorney is well-versed and reputable in dealing with military divorces from the spouse side. She almost always gets all that is asked for and is a bulldog when there is infidelity involved.

So, long story not so short, I am growing and learning who I am and what I want in my life. DH still has a place in it, albeit a small one right now. But, when he is ready to come home, I will be more than willing to expand it.

Thanks again.

Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW