I Love You But...

[eternaloptimist]

Well the fear was that she would lose her job- which I definitely think he will blame you for. But now that this has happened what is to stop them from having further contact?

Not that you can control this, at all, I'm just sayin........

I want to be alone or I need space is usually "I need space to conduct my affair"

I totally hear you...but now she's being reported to the State Licensing Board for further investigation. So I'm about 99% sure he has had no more contact with her. Nevertheless, I'm cautious that he might try to get in touch with her somehow, esp. after he moves out. I calmly asked him before our vaca if I should expect that this woman will be in his life and in our son's life. His response was weird...he said "Well, not right now" and then later he tried to say he was being sarcastic. I seriously don't know why on Earth he'd risk being involved with a married woman with 3 kids who is now unemployed with little possibility of ever getting another job. He's mostly been focused on finding a place to live decent enough for our son to visit.

Oh, I'd love your take on this too. He recently told me that he'd "come clean" about his "affair" (still not even acknowledging it was an EA) with the therapist to his friend who is a psychologist. None of his close friends were supposedly even shocked in the slightest. I guess they think he was justified in doing anything he wanted to because he's been so unhappy. No one can see how sick it was or how depressed he is. He also told his Mom about the affair and she had nothing to say. So my H took this to mean that she was ok with it. In all cases of disclosure to friends/family, he says that no one admonished his behavior or thought it was a big deal. So he took that to mean that no one was surprised or upset and that I must have done something pretty awful to him to make him do these things. His ego is amazing, isn't it? He actually said, "Well, they all think that for me to do something like have an affair, you must have made me so unhappy because I'm one of the nicest, best guys walking the face of the planet." Even his brother has said that it was obvious to him and everyone else how unhappy he's been. So I guess I'm the scapegoat for all of his unhappiness...