You'll never see me fall from grace

[Sugar and Spice]

I understand this. Ok, here are some thoughts from the "other side". Your H made this OW feel like she was special, probably said things to her that made her feel like she was going to be with him forever, she was "broken" when she met your H, and now is "broken" even more if that is possible. Your H probably feels guilt about this, especially since she had his child. Even though your H now realizes that relationship was bad, he still feels guilt and has feelings about her.

I completely agree with you about this. I KNOW this to be true, just by what he has said and what she has said. I also think the babay just makes it worse because the contact is never broken, so the draw and drug still remain. I know he also realizes the R is bad and is bad for him, but because she has not managed to kill all of his feelings for her through her craziness he is still engaged in an EA that is dying hard.

When having an affair, the affair partners very often are a little "off". For them to have a relationship with a married person in the first place, tells you that there is some lack of self esteem, lack of knowledge about love and commitment, etc.

My former OM was like your H's OW. I KNEW when I told him that we were done, that it wouldn't end quietly. We didn't have a child between us, but that didn't stop the phone calls, the hang up calls, I know he passed the house a few times, he got involved with the police a couple times, etc. You would think that would make me feel better about ending it....because he was "crazy". But, problem is, I felt the guilt about it...I knew he was emotional when I met him and it was one of the reasons I liked him......if it weren't for me, making him fall for me, convincing him that we were heading toward a real relationship, etc., he wouldn't be so upset. I was the cause of this OM's pain. And, on top of it, I missed him. It's just emotionally difficult. Not impossible, just difficult.

Not impossible, just dying hard and she just doesn't get it. She absolutely does not see that she has done anything wrong. She left me a VM that detailed some pretty graphic stuff as well as let me know that since I seemed ok with being with him that she didn't see why she shouldn't be too. She doesn't even understand why my kids would see her as the bad guy, it had to be explained to her that even though my kids KNOW their dad was also to blame for the A, that since he is their father they would learn to deal with him, she however would ALWAYS be "bad" in their eyes and she didn't understand....HELLLO!!!

The situation right now is difficult enough with him getting ready to try and file B, but to have this drama on top of it, is getting to be too much. There is really no "working" on anything but friendship right now because the rest seems to add too much pressure.

Mikey...that is crazy stuff man. I'm not ready for a RO yet, but I have saved all of her VM and texts as I think they will make a lovely Christmas gift for her parents , or they will back up my story with the cops.

Pup, I'm patient...I won't do it until I'm sure I have enough to really put her azz in a sling. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst!!!