It's MY life now!!!........

[Silent Chrleader]

Hey, ((((25)))).

-H is retired Navy. He was in the Navy for 22 years active duty, 18 of which we were married, so we don't meet the 20/20/20 wicket, thus I only keep my benefits for the one year.

-Are you saying that my L can put our agreements in writing and not put herself in jeopardy "if it got out"?? And yes, I tust my div L. She came highly recommended from a friend who works with several judges in the area in her job (and she also was the L for this friend's sister when she divorced from her retired military husband).

-My kids are "our" kids, but they are 18 and 24 years old.....and yes I'm tired of worrying about all this.

- I know he loves the kids, even if he can't feel it right now. Our C has even speculated that H might suffer from some form of an attachment disorder..... not sure about that one, but there are definitely some "issues" he is dealing with now.

- I do believe that H means what he says and will do the best he can for me (while saving "dream property" for himself as top priority). That's really OK by me now. Even if we can't get an agreement in writing for him to "sign the house back over to me", if we do an occupancy/lease agreement whereby I get the house "rent free" for the time of his Ch 13, by that time I will have the car and my retirement loan paid off, so I will be in a good position financially even if he were to "reneg" on the "deal".

- This morning while getting ready to go for a root canal, I got a knock on the door from a guy here to repossess H's boat (which is up at the dream property). I gave him H's number and told him I was sure H would cooperate. I then called H and gave him a heads up. He chuckled and said thanks. He then called me back to ask me what I had told this guy, which I told him, and then he reminded me that he has a medical savings plan that he has been paying into which he set up to pay for C services for S18, but S18 is not using it, so he is going to use it to pay my co-pay on the root canal, and I will pay the cash into his account.

- I have also told H that during his Ch 13 if I were get any Bonuses from my job (not likely at this point), I would "share" some of that and help him out all I could. He knows that I stand by my word and am not greedy, so hopefully this helps to aleviate (sp?) any anxiety he has about his outlook for the coming future. He called and left me a VM this afternoon (I didn't answer the phone) and told me status that he had called my dentist with the info from his med savings plan, but they were already closed so he would call tomorrow. So, all in all, I am feeling good about how we are dealing with each other through this.

- You'll probably think this is silly, but I had a reading done by a psychic (somebody recommended by my "flakey" sister - not just one of those on-line goofs). It was really interesting and she was "on" in many regards. I won't go into it all, but she basically told me that she saw H and I "on different shores but facing each other" which indicated "understanding but distance". She said that she saw H as a "good hearted" man, but "without a voice for his emotions".......and she said that "within a year" I would meet the "love of my life"...... I don't really "believe in" this stuff as far as the decisions I make in my life, but the whole exercise was positive for me and I am feeling better today.

Thanks again for you support and good advice, 25!

(((((hugs)))))