Wife starts IC today and is friendly when she calls now. The wall seems to be a little lower, but it's still there. She initiated an email exchange yesterday during which I offered to be a shoulder she can lean on and she responded back that she was proud of all the improvements I had made in my life, and happy for me, and that she was now trying to do the same for herself. She said she was just trying to deal with her own pain, fears and issues right now and didn't want to keep hurting me with her issues (likely the A and the hurt she continues to cause me because she won't/can't talk to me about anything emotional). She closed by saying she is trying to get well again. I asked how what she said affects our R issues and she responded that she's just focused on her issues right now, and there may not be an "us" to talk about later, and that I need to make my own decisions and move on if I'm ready.
It was a good exchange, very friendly and factual, and I'm just doing the DB thing; discarding what I hear and keeping on with my GAL, 180's and detachment efforts. I'm hopeful that her IC will get her to a point where she is ready to talk again but I know that will likely be weeks. It's a long, hard journey - I hope I have the patience and strength to outlast her. I remain silent and only respond to her initiated contacts or essential business issues. I pray every day that this is working; it seems like it, in very small steps with many more miles to go.
