So I was thinking about whether I should bring this up tonight - I might let H know I scheduled another appointment with MC for before he leaves for a month because I wanted to know we were on the same page with some of the stuff he said.
I figure if he wants to talk about it without the "translator" we can talk about it, but otherwise I like the "safe place" where we can talk about the R... so I'll just not say anything without him bringing it up...
Honestly, the thing that I think I know the answer to and talked about in my last little post there -
What does he expect to get out of a marriage/out of family that he's not getting?
Why isn't he getting it?
I think it's not necessarily me standing in the way - he's definitely not getting anything by going home to an empty apartment at the end of the day - I think it's just that we've both become so rigid in terms of spending money and scheduling time. We BOTH feel so guilty for not spending enough time with our daughter that we make it all about her. Therefore, we DON'T make time for each other because it takes away from time with DD...
I could easily rephrase the question for myself too. At the rate we were going, it felt like we had stepped onto the express train by accident and we weren't taking any of the fun stops along the way - too much "Go, go, go!"
I'm trying to look at the separation as pulling the e-brake... but unfortunately it's going to go a few more miles before we can get off the train and get back to "sightseeing" because of H's schedule?
I don't know, make any sense? How's that for a metaphor?
I feel like I've already jumped the train and started enjoying the slow ride... I'm just going it alone for a while... and hope H meets back up with me eventually...
