In my opinion, I think it's great that you are breaking through the barriers of communication and laying it all out on the line.
I don't know if I agree with your decision to withhold affection. Withholding is never a healthy thing to do, IMO. I would rethink this and try to combine loving affection (when authentic, that is) with brave, honest communication.
It is good that she knows what is at stake. It is good that she is pushed into discomfort and forced to reckon with the 500lb gorilla in the room.
I'm glad you shook it up. Anger is good. Anger is passion.
I wonder if you might be able to revisit to affirm your love and desire for her, and when she softens a bit, parlay this into initiating (if that's what you want at that moment?) Hmmm.
