(This is a repost from Newcomer's board - it was suggested that my issue might be better discussed here.)
I'm brand new to this board so I apologize that I'm not using most or really any of the abbreviations.
I've been married for a year and a half, we have a 9 month old daughter, no As, no separation, no drama ... just infrequent sex (like 1/wk) and only when I initiate. I don't think I even realized until recently that I was the only initiator through our whole relationship including when dating ... It probably was around the time that I confronted my husband about his viewing of porn. I knew that he looks at it and I don't have a problem with it so long as it isn't INSTEAD of having a physical relationship with me. I kind of freaked out in the most calm way possible and told him that I wasn't judging him and I didn't want him to feel ashamed but that I knew that he looks at porn and I wanted to use this opportunity to let him know that I have a sex drive too and that it is important to me and to our relationship that we have sex and that he initiate (at least SOMETIMES). He told me he understood ... etc ... nods ... no explanation. And no change. We've discussed this several times. I sobbed last week trying to explain how important sex is for our relationship.
I never thought this was a problem or an issue b/c, although I've had several partners, my husband has never been with anyone sexually or otherwise other than me so I assumed that his behavior was merely "shyness." But we've been together for 6 years ( 4 1/2 dating and 1 1/2 marriage) and this has never changed. I basically have to show up naked or in lingerie in order for him to get the hint. I am not a subtle lady so he should have picked up on this way before I took off my clothes. I'm not interested in being the initiator and I have never declined sex from my husband if/when it was offered (which was never). And I am sure that he doesn't have a sex drive problem.
I know that comparatively this is less dire and dramatic than some others but I am finding myself restless and trapped in my marriage. I know myself and I find that I daydream about leaving and running away with basically any man / woman / human who will be willing to acknowledge my sexuality. It has gotten to the point that even when we do ML, I'm not that interested. I'm almost ... I can't believe I'm going to say this ... grossed out. So there's my problem.
Anyone able to offer some kind words to a caged bird?
